Skinny is truly relative. The skinniest I’ve ever been was when I returned from Southeast Asia with dysentery. I know, more information than you needed. Sorry. What you should know is that there was a large bevy of people who looked right into my green hued face and said, “gosh, you look great!” Worse, a handful of people said, “how do I get on that diet?” That handful actually meant it. Some of us would do anything, go through anything, at any cost, to feel thin or beautiful. Until all hell breaks loose.
My mother is about to undergo major surgery to remove her esophagus (cancer). The process involves bringing her stomach up to her throat to replace it. The end result is a lot like stomach stapling, or gastric bypass. A few nights ago I asked to take her to dinner, anywhere she wanted because she could go hog wild. She said, “I keep telling myself that. Live it up! For the first time in my life I can really eat anything and not worry about my pants. The funny thing is I don’t want anything. I just want to be well.”
Wrench to the heart, no? Okay, she’s my mom so the wrench is certainly bigger for me, but bear with me, in context, I’ll ask you this: How much energy have you spent on your pant size and your perceived unlikeable bulges versus the energy you spend on your true health? How dearly we grasp health when it’s on the verge of slipping forever. But when all is copacetic, and taken for granted, our flaws begin to scream out at us. The energy it takes to manage those flaws takes away from the beauty we’d have if we were fully pointed toward optimal health.
Now, I’m the first to say we can’t be perfectly healthy all the time. Indeed healthy living includes balance and managing the cards we’re dealt. But, along with cigarettes and trans-fats, I do wish, with all my might, that self-berating behavior could be banned by the FDA, to make way for an honest look, and honest effort toward truly enjoyable health, and healthy living. Could that collective energy saved, if achieved, find a cure for cancer? I think so.
So the task this week? Get skinny on by dropping your negative body image comments. Tighten your belt on a “no-self-hatred diet.” Convert that angst to choosing healthy actions that are sustainable for the rest of your life. The real truth is, by the way, weight, as a risk factor for future disease, is not the soul culprit of poor health. It’s actually a symptom of other risks that cluster around difficult behaviors – self hatred being one. It’s a chicken-egg discussion. Does weight cause high blood pressure or does that which causes high blood pressure also cause weight gain? According to the Surgeon General’s report on Physical Activity and data from the Cooper Institute, it’s the latter. In fact, as long as we’re physically active and eat well, weight can’t beat us.
Self-efficacy and peer support are two of the best tools we have to help us live healthy lives. So, do me a favor, look in the mirror today and choose one part of you that you’re willing to like without question. Praise that part, and the part of your soul that’s willing. Let it grow (the praise that is). Then, go out and do the same for someone you love — even if it’s just to tell them that they look cute today, skinny or not.
Let us know how “skinny” you get and if it opens up doors to healthier living as a result.
UPDATE: My mom is now two years cancer-free and doing great. Her recovery was quick and smooth thanks to her fitness going into the proceedure and she’s learning to eat a completely new way to manage the changes to her body. The lesson? If hard times hit, it’s good to be prepared and be sure you have lots of help along the way.