“So I danced today. We danced today. A hundred of us, unlikely dancers we, all swiveling our hips at once. It was spectacular and I felt marvelous.” Here’s why peers matter: That’s what I said when I came home from work last week.
Now, I am terrified of dancing. For a seemingly not uptight person, I have a HUGE self conscious side and a very uptight body. Not an ounce of rhythm exists in these British Isles/German bones of mine.
Sad, I know.
At weddings, bar mitzvah, and so on, I used to play the “I’m too cool to dance” card. Turns out people who love to dance (and I’m starting to believe that’s most people) actually loathe people who say that. Test it. You will stand outcast in a corner.
Positive peer pressure can turn the tides…
Last week at the launch of our 20th anniversary PATH Adventure, we offered a 45 minute “activity break” from a long day of training. A most fabulous choreographer and dance instructor, Karen Amirault, was brought in to teach us some moves. Being an “executive” (frump frump frump) and part of the staff running the conference (thus being a little overloaded), I used the “I need to catch up on emails” excuse to avoid the exhibition.
So 200 people filed out of the keynote room and into a big ballroom — “See ya, have fun” I chortled with a fake smile and snooty wave. They all chided and poked fun, “your loss wellness lady.” Forty-five minutes later, 200 people literally bounced back past our registration table into the general session room for lunch. They were beaming, laughing, red faced, sweaty, and totally charged.
I have to say, I was jealous. And more chiding ensued. I was a good sport. I smiled a fake smile, “ho, ho, you’re right I should have danced. Should’a’been a good role model, blah, blah, blah.” Then when they were all out of sight, I slumped into a chair. The gauntlet had been thrown. “Who was this dance lady anyway, and how did she make me want to even consider dancing? I hadn’t even met her yet” I thought while looking down, kicking at the carpet. I decided I didn’t like her. Why she’s probably overly perky, somewhat plastic, and super skinny, or she’s a drill sergeant. I watch Dancing With The Stars, I know dance pros. Ugh. Then Boom! There she was, hand outstretched! “Hi, I’m Karen, the dance teacher. This is such a great program and I’m so glad to meet you. Fun presentation this morning!”
Darn. Can’t dislike her. Not plastic, good energy (not too perky), glowing with healthy sweat, middle age like me (like most of us), wild but tamed hair (a little hint of purple dye in it). Not freaky skinny, but definitely fit. She joined us for dinner. She was so cool, so normal, so sincere, so devoted to her art and to teaching anyone who will listen, who will try to MOVE. So cool. I wanted to be cool. I vowed, “I WILL try the dance tomorrow, no excuses.” I promised her. A commitment, no matter how small, does have meaning.
Next day, same drill only this time I had to face my terror. I was beginning to run the other way when I realized I could at least watch from the hallway. By golly, look at all those PATH Coordinators laughing and looking so silly. And then, it started slowly. A little hip wiggle. a little finger snap. Then full on testing of the moves, right there in the hallway for all to see. Karen is an excellent teacher. In that moment I knew two things: one- I didn’t have to get it right, I just had to try it and do it my way, and, two- I didn’t have to be cool. What a relief, because I have it on strict authority from my teenagers that I shall never be cool again.
Funny thing is I felt cool. I also sweat, a lot! But so did everyone else so we didn’t care how our hair was afterward. I shared my awkwardness with 100 other people and no one dropped dead of shock. I laughed my head off and stretched parts of my body I forgot existed.
This is what “exercise” is all about. Try moving in new ways with people you like. Having a inspiration doesn’t hurt either. Finally, don’t let fear keep you motionless. That is the essence of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Not only is dance good exercise but it turns out to be good for your psyche. Mental health professionals and movement educators have reams of data to show the uptick in happiness that “letting your feet fly” offers the soul.
I can’t guarantee that I’ll dance again all too quickly but at least now I know it’s not such a stretch. Thank goodness for Karen’s generous spirit of instruction and for the silly chiding of my colleagues. They turned a wall flower into the girl who stood at the front of the room on the reprisal (we took a brief afternoon break to run through the moves one last time – laughing all over again).
On your next snow day, your next “no chance of leaving the house” day (for whatever reason), it’s clear that 20 minutes of dance, no matter what your moves, will bring on a great sweat, and great smile (the old two birds – one stone proposition). Give it try! When you get brave, find an inspiration to help you express yourself. Maybe even look for a dance class to get started. Check with a local YMCA, community center, library, or continuing education program for classes. Maybe we’ll all run into each other!
Let us know how dance, or other creative moves, keep you inspired this winter.
And… Five, six, seven, eight…
See you on the dance floor.