Gracious! Does it seem like everyone is getting COVID… AGAIN?
By George it does (why even George himself has got it).
This thing continues to mutate and nag at us like those relentless, late summer deer flies who were supposed to be logy by now. With the giant Sequoias of Yosemite at risk, a drought here, a flood there, algae blooms, political strife, and the COVID BA.5 subvariant, life still seems to be conspiring against all that is good.
Whew! Sorry to be Debbie Downer. We’re just naming it; shouting it out like your nervous friend who can’t help herself. Emotions won’t disappear by burying our heads so why not set them free?
We call what’s happening “a pile-on” and we are in one heck of just that. It’s good to say so, pause, take a deep breath, and reiterate that, like the seasons, we will get through it. And it’s okay to feel that it all stinks like the neighborhood storm swale water in the scorching heat of August.
Some things you might be feeling? Overwhelmed. Uneasy about the back-to-school cycle. Not rested from summer. Heavy. Not caring that Sally’s fridge broke, or that Donna has a kidney stone. All of the above and then some.
It’s OKAY.
The worst thing we can do is say, “Well, at least Blah, Blah, Blah.” A pile-on is a gosh darn pile-on. Period.
It’s what you do with your list of feelings that matters most. Deep breaths and other tried and true strategies really can help. Cliches exist for a reason. Now more than ever, let’s embrace the mental health basics…
One-Two, Buckle Your Shoe…
ONE: Look for what you CAN control. For example, for some of us, it’s sweeping. When the floor is clean, it’s done, and you did it. Nice work. For others, it’s math, or reading up on something, or journaling, or painting, weeding, walking, sprinting, boxing, swimming, dancing, hiking, planning a gathering, and so on. Self-care isn’t another to-do list. It’s what you need in this moment to feel better. If it’s sweeping, so be it. Don’t judge.
TWO: Work on letting go of what you CAN’T control. What other people think of you, what might have been, why we didn’t do such-and-such, and other similar statements are an attempt to get perspective but lead you down a painful road with few answers. Give yourself a break here. Usually, we are our own worst critics at a time when we need kindness most. Guilt and shame are the dark side. Go easy on you, Adele.
Three-Four, Shut the Door…
THREE: Celebrate the good you do each day. Hawaiian elders counsel, “if today all you did was hold yourself together, I’m proud of you.” In very hard times, it seems we’re supposed to be superhuman but even superheroes need to rest and recover. Celebrate the fact that you’re here, moving forward. Aloha! Ha’aheo au ia ‘oe (ha ah-hey-oh ow e-a oh-way = I’m proud of you). Tell someone else you’re proud of them and you’ll get double the benefit (proud of you Donna — kidney stones huuuurt!).
FOUR: Shake it off your body. Get it out of your cells for good. Emotional pain that stays pent up does big damage. Expunge, we say! Several deep breaths with huge, forceful exhales can help. Add in your arms overhead on the inhale and swinging down with the exhale. Add in a simulated axe chop and Bam! Let it go; throw it in the forget-it bucket (or a different “f” word if you need — again, we don’t judge).
We’re proud of you.
August is hot and hard, we know. It’s also full of promise and hope as is each new day.* You are strong and kind and important. Take time to rest and be you because you are marvelous. Soon the sweet, cool air of Fall will wash over you and bring crisp apples with honey and your favorite sweater. Ahhhhhhh.
See you in September, On The PATH Ahead.
The VEHI PATH Team
*PS. For inspiration, take a look back at Maya Angelou’s On The Pulse of Morning – we can never hear it enough…
“Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song. It says,
Come, rest here by my side.”