“I could never do that!”
Do what? Walk the streets of Paris on Bastille Day, climb up to the bells of Notre Dame, or watch fireworks over the Eiffel Tower. Terrorism abounds, I’m not fit enough, I’m afraid of heights, crowds are suffocating, etc. and so on.
But I did (see pictures for proof). We could all fill in the blanks of what we think we could never do, but think of how fun it’s been in your life to break that mold and say, “I thought that, but look at me now!”
“I could never do that” is the phrase of the tired, afraid and overwhelmed. Oscar Wilde said, “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” Keep in mind his last name was indeed wild, and he lived up to it. Though he was a tad over the top his point was really that we don’t want to get into a rut out of fear and miss out on life’s delights.
Consistency has its place. We need to be consistent and disciplined to see results in certain goals. But Wilde didn’t want this at the expense of our curiosity and the joy that comes from walking the unexplored path. There’s a balance in it all of course but stepping out of your comfort zone in safe ways is good for the brain, the heart and the soul. Doing so in the company of friends and loved ones, even better.
So instead of saying, “I could never do that!” try saying, “How would that work?” Give your brain a new and exciting boost by taking your friend up on a challenge. Dorothy Parker told her friends, “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” Once there, I couldn’t walk the streets of Paris enough. When we hit 20,000 steps and it was midnight, I still bounded up the four flights of our flat, instead of taking the lift, because I could. When “I could never” turns to “because I can” there is no end to what you can accomplish. Six months ago I thought a trip to Europe was ludicrous. When I found out it was cheaper to fly to Paris than to California I made up excuses. If my family hadn’t talked me into it I never would have experienced the wonder and beauty, the history and the amazement of France.
I stood in the very spot where Ben Franklin signed the Treaty of Versailles, making us forever and always the United States of America. I stood on the D-Day beaches where courageous American GIs gave their lives for the freedom of the entire Western world and ended the barbarism of the Nazis. I said a prayer for Nice in an abbey that was built in the middle of a maddening sea during the 8th century. None of that would have happened had I not put on my big girl pants and said, “I’ve got this.” And that wouldn’t have happened had my loved ones not said, “Why on earth wouldn’t you go?”
Walt Disney added, “Curiosity keeps us moving forward, exploring, experimenting, opening new doors.”
Robust research in positive psychology shows that “openness to experience and flexibility about matters that do not fit one’s preconceptions” allows people to embrace and even relish in ambiguity (Seligman, Flourish). We often spend too much time afraid of the unknown. What will that be like? How will it feel? Will it hurt? Will it cost me? Will I look funny? Those questions immobilize us and thus we end up doing nothing at all. That time then is wasted when ultimately we could be out enjoying the benefits of learning and growing together.
In short… Grow your intrigue and question your ruts this week (and ask a friend to help).
Why wouldn’t you do that? Who says you’re not imaginative? Who says you’re not capable of this or that? No one knows for sure what your limits are but you. And even then, do you really know? How many stories can we all recount of those who soared well beyond what they thought they could achieve?
There is no end to what the human spirit can endure and accomplish. All it takes is a little curiosity, some belief in yourself, and a good friend to share in the adventure.
Bonne journée!
(Have a great day)
See You on the PATH Ahead,
Gillian, Shevonne, Amy and the VEHI PATH Team