A candy barrage is about to culminate in one big salt, sugar and fat orgy next week and people around me are feeling a bit desperate…
People tell me the desperation of Halloween overindulgence has two creepy culprits that are cousins:
1) Deprivation = withholding from the enjoyment of (until one loses it).
- I will not bring it into my house. It will sit outside in a bowl and I will build an imaginary alarm bubble over it that, should I go near, will shout, “Step AWAY from the candy dish.”
2) Depravation = corruption, wickedness, perversion, denial.
- It’s a holiday, chocolate is healthy, it’s special and I deserve to misbehave.
- I will eat a whole bag of my favorite so I’m over it and will no longer obsess.
“Desperate” means hopeless, intolerable, driven to recklessness. With deprivation and depravity leading us down the desperation parade route — bewitched and bamboozled — a bumpy All Souls Eve could be afoot.
How might we break the back of the overindulgence orgy? With Tricks instead of Treats:
A) Deprivation Disposal:
First, take a look at what you’re really bemoaning. What do you really love and what do you really miss? Can you dip your toe into a portion of what you love, but with decorum? Cornell Food and Brand Lab researchers say the more you obsess about a food, the more likely you are to eventually pounce and consume with reckless abandon. You’re better off savoring small bits over time.
Furthermore, your brain might not be in line with what really matters most to you about candy, chocolate, or other treats. You may love only the aspect of having the candy around. The little fella in the picture above feels exactly so.
So much of what we love about our obsessions is in our minds eye, rather than in our stomachs or the food or the act or thing itself.
Which leads me to depravity…
Those trying to lose weight often say, “I don’t even want the darn candy bar. I just feel compelled to buy it. And then, because it’s there, I feel compelled to eat it.”
B) Depravity Disbursement:
When psychologists study people’s ability to resist a favorite “downfall” food in a cafeteria setting, it turns out, the more a person viewed themselves as having high self-control the less likely they were to be able to resist temptation. A term known as “Restraint Bias.”
Why? Depravity! Wickedness! Just kidding. Actually, because they think they have “excellent” self control, they put themselves in riskier situations. It’s like saying, “I’ll just smell the chocolate, but not eat it.” Right and I am Eleanor Roosevelt.
“Hey! I’m depraved on account of I’m deprived!” – West Side Story, Steven Sondheim lyrics
The research suggests if we admit to our infatuation, our compulsion, or even our addictions — if we are honest about our weak spots — we’ll be more capable of avoiding desperate times. Not only might we fight off the siren call but, by being verbal and out there, others can now help us resist as well.
To sum it up:
- What calls to you? If it cannot be denied, keep it out of the house – even if that means throwing it away (yes, you can). This is an age old tip, tried and true. You can even go so far as to reframe the item as poison by your standards.
- What panics you? Can you prepare? Better yet, ask, “What matters most to me in my panic?” If you really stop and ask (and breathe) you may find solutions you’ve never considered.
These are good experiments.
Are we stooping to silly antics? Why, maybe so! But silly and useful are not mutually exclusive. In fact, when combined they pack a fairly joyful wallop against desperation.
Bottom line: be honest and ask for help in restraint. In so doing, the overindulgence blade on desperation’s sword grows dull.
See you on the sticky PATH Ahead!