What’s a wellness lady to do? What’s anyone to do?
To further emphasize my point, two days ago one our beloved coordinators told us she is joining a much revered program called VTrim (a highly researched and successful lifestyle and weight management program). Her doctor told her, “You shouldn’t do that program. You just need gastric by-pass surgery.” What? She’s finally ready and wanting to take charge of her body again and her medical home instead suggests a complicated band-aid, thinly veiled as a magic bullet, fraught with risks, costs, and no attempt to fix the root cause in sight? No wonder I run to the desert table.
So, seriously… What’s a wellness lady to do?
The right thing.
Simple as that.
Honestly, I have been hiding in the ease of making others feel good. We do this as parents and friends all too often. As a result, indulgence is not longer exciting, but run of the mill and expected; and bad manners have run amuck. We have lost our boundaries and no longer ask each other to stretch and grow with proud passion toward quality of life. Instead of inspiring others, I’m left impotent, hosting a belly ache and a heaping serving of self-loathing when caught by a mirror.
I own my weight gain and doldrums, I realize. I’m an adult and I make my own choices. I do make a plea, however, to those who flaunt guilt and boast about it the minute Shevonne and I walk in the room… Stop that! Stop making it acceptable to dismiss people’s efforts to live healthy lives just because you’re not ready to change! Stop I say! New thinking (new will power or a new healthy choice) is oh so fragile. Don’t ruin it for someone else because you’re afraid you don’t currently measure up.
As I say, Shevonne’s courage to call us out is worth applause. Sometimes we really don’t measure up. If we placate too much, we’ll never stride ahead. (For details on Shevonne, see yesterday’s post: “Shhh, Here Come the Wellness Police).
We all must shift the norms, for crying out loud, or, no matter how hard we work at changing our individual habits, the world will not sustain our successes. You cannot change a person and then put him or her back in the environment in which the original issues arose and expect a different outcome. We all can and must change together.
French fries are just fine. But not every day. Not even every other day. Maybe not even every week. A treat is a treat, a rarity to savor. And empathy means having boundaries while still being supportive.
It takes great effort to move a giant ship in a different direction and it doesn’t happen quickly. Commitment, patience, optimism and each other are the keys to sustain change and true wellness over a lifetime.
So, Shevonne is learning to stay strong and resolute. She’s learning to temper her message only enough so it provokes minimal guilt and widens people’s thinking – for example, baked sweet potato wedges are good for you every day and may curb the french fry food cravings.
Me? I am learning to regain my balance and not hide behind niceties. I’m sticking to my core values and here to help you do the same.
I’m getting back on the horse and I need your help. Next time you see us coming tell us how excited you are to see us live up to your expectations. And by all means, I need you to expect me to strive for a better lives, turning the road less traveled into an easily accessible superhighway of healthy choices.
Tell us about a cultural norm you’d like to see us all support in your perfect wellness world? What can we help you change so you can feel like wellness utopia is within your grasp?
Let us know on the PATH Ahead.