Lately I’ve taken on this weird habit of eating high fat, high calorie foods in order to “fit in” and help people feel comfortable around me when attending professional events.
This comes after many years of comments such as, “Ooo, you wellness freaks aren’t gonna make us eat rabbit food are you?” Or, “quick, hide the booze, that healthy lady is here.” Or, “heya fitness chick! Should I have worn my sweatpants today? You gonna get us movin’ and a grovin’?” Chortle, chortle, snort, snort. And so on. I inevitably hear a collective sigh of relief if people see me go to the dessert table or if I don’t force some interactive exercise routine on them in my presentations. At every social event I am accosted by someone who demands I sanction their latest foray into a new fad diet.
Due to this technical difficulty in my career, I have put on some weight and recently lost a bit of my wellness mojo.
On the other end of the spectrum, I have a wellness colleague (Shevonne, you know who you are) who readily sounds the positive role model alarm, “Wellness is in the house!” People run for their candy dishes. By contrast… She runs marathons.
Now, don’t groan… Shevonne’s energy is starting to snap me out of the doldrums. My empathy for everyone’s discomfort with their lack of wellness is sorely overblown, and it’s time I got my act together.
Empathy, or “over-care,” that forces your energy down is of no use to anyone. We are hard wired to be compassionate toward others, especially those we love and crave to see succeed in life. It’s a good thing. Offer too much empathy, however, and into the downward spiral we all must fall. Instructor Nischala Joy Devi said in a recent Yoga Journal article, “if you lose yourself in others suffering, you can no longer be compassionate.” You end up the victim, vicariously experiencing the trauma in turn.
Shevonne takes a marvelous track on the high road and I have to say I’m both proud of her and inspired. At her kid’s school dance, for example, the student council had a table selling “snacks” as a fundraiser for the class trip. These snacks included chips, candy and soft drinks but no healthy alternative. To quote Jamie Oliver (The Naked Chef), “It is absolutely ludicrous that we willfully feed our children these things when we have a crushing obesity epidemic.”
Ludicrous.
Just because they like it doesn’t mean we should stoke their sweet-a-holic fire. After all, healthy food can be fun (see picture)!
Put me in Shevonne’s shoes lately, however, and I’d sigh and fork over a dollar for some hearty refined flour and “mostly natural” high fructose corn syrup rather than protest. I’m a tired wellness lady having beaten my head against the “It’s not very often” cliche one too many times. It IS often. Add up all the special occasions where people bring sugar and “junk food” to school or work and you’d be amazed how often a “treat” completely replaces a healthy meal.
So what did Shevonne do? She sounded the alarm: “Cut that out you role model adults you!”
Sadly, she got blank stares followed by the guilty hanging of the heads and a silent dispersal of the crowd. And the candy table remained. And her daughter was mortified.
Doesn’t she realize candy sells at school fund raisers better than sex appeal sells at the movies?
We all know she’s right and yet we crawl in our hole of denial. Pleasing others comes at all costs and making waves is icky. ICKY. Poor Shevonne musters courage to stir the pot but is consistently thwarted by the green monster of guilty pleasure — the road most easily, and whimpily, traveled.
What’s a wellness lady to do? What’s anyone to do? How am I to change my tired ways?
Tune in tomorrow for our theory on how to fix this quandary!