On the plane this morning a little boy says, “how come we’re not flying yet?”
The dad says, “Because the plane has to work up enough speed to take off.”
There’s a thoughtful pause, then, “Daddy?”
“Hmm?”
“If I get enough speed will I take off?”
A quiet laugh and then, “Well, not exactly, but in a way I suppose so, buddy.”
Kids are so literal that I pictured this boy getting off the plane and then running as fast and as hard as possible down the hallway to baggage claim hoping with all his might that it was true. He flaps his wings so hard he wears himself out. When he doesn’t alight he thinks, “I’ll try harder next time.”
The same happens to us with healthy habits. We believe if we get enough momentum, we’ll be on our way for good. That’s true and it’s not. Once we’ve started we can never undo what’s been accomplished. The eyes cannot un-see. The heart cannot un-feel. The muscles always remember when new synapses converge in the brain.
The excitement of the “newness” and all that potential energy feels good. Indeed, it can feel like a drug. And so we often binge on that potential. I feel it nearly every time I’m coming off a trail, or especially anytime I’m getting back to exercise after a hiatus. As I’m winding through the forest, totally “hooked on a feeling, high on believing,” I’m usually ticking off all the ways I’m going to be successful the rest of the day, week, or even month.
“…and then I’m going to clean the garage, and then I’ll do some push-ups and lunges, and then I’ll make appointments for all us to to get our teeth cleaned, and then a big family dinner for tonight, and then…”
Whew! Sadly, once I don’t do everything on that ridiculously ambitious list, I feel like a failure. Hmm, I must need to try harder next time. Never mind that I got out and exercised that day. It’s a set up. Next time I’m thinking about a hike I think of that list and I end up staying home to get it all done. My eyes are ALWAYS bigger than my time and ramping up to exercise begins to feel daunting rather than inviting.
What is this all-or-nothing-overachievers club? And why are so many of us card carrying members?
That’s our culture today, by default. It’s great to have some fire in the belly to get us off the couch, but I believe we are too hard on ourselves when we don’t meet impossible goals. We need to back off the binge and take back the fun!
The difference between us and the little boy? He shrugs off his thought that he might need to try harder. He moves on, as there is just too much in the world to experience and enjoy. Then one day when nothing else is in his way, he pops up and says, “Oooo, I think I’ll give flying another go.” No luck, but it sure was a good time trying. And again, he moves on. Even in our child size wisdom we already know that it is the ADVENTURE we seek, not the outcome.
Take flight but be fair with yourself in knowing what goes up must come down. In other words, don’t overdo it and remember to weave in time to recover. Make no mistake… You WILL plateau. It WILL be frustrating. Be kind to yourself above all, because just past “Frustration Curve” you WILL find “Habit Hill.” You’ve got to go through it to get to it (ooo, sounds like something Yogi Berra might say).
When on an excitement binge, save a bit of energy, rather than completely exhausting yourself. That way the excitement will linger and even percolate as solid motivation for next time.
And now I will attempt to fly my own body to baggage claim as fast as possible because the little boy had a baby sis who cried all the way to Texas! It’s a good thing Mother Nature made little ones cute.
Trail, here I come…