Chapter 2
As a continuation from my post on healthy expectations yesterday I wrote a fancy poem to get you all inspired…or at least to smile at my rhyming skills!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I don’t expect perfection,
and that’s why I love me too!
A PLEA: Be Nice To My Friend (meaning YOU)!
When it comes to health expectations, shame and virtue abound — a swirling cacophony of “shoulds” and “don’ts.” There’s that little voice that repeats and repeats and repeats (slap): “get up and move, you slob; eat this not that, oh glutton; relax more, work less, but pay the bills; stop being judgy; etc.” As caretakers at heart, it’s up to us to set the trend to be kind to ourselves while staying rooted in reality. After all, you wouldn’t should on others the way you should on yourself.
SO… How CAN we set realistic and useful expectations? Here’s an equation for success:
Strategy One: Dream of multi-layered success shooting for a bevy of goals that build upon each other. The theory here is that you’ll likely reach at least one of those goals if not a few. Moreover, if one goal reinforces the other, your odds for success amplify. For example, once you start moving more, you might be less inclined to drink that sugary soda that could undercut the calories you’ve now lost. The Caveat: Celebrate the marks you do hit and lay off of yourself on those you don’t make. A perfectionist will have a hard time with this strategy.
Strategy Two: focus on one thing and do it well (who said that? Was it Churchill?), creating a solid habit before you move on to another goal. This strategy is good for the perfectionist in us but harder for we who are a tad (or a lot) ADD. In all cases, with all goal strategies, expectations are more likely met with step-by-step benchmarks, sprinkled with an “I think I can” mantra all the way up the hill.
Take some time to write out your benchmarks. Here are some helpful planning questions:
- What’s most important to you in reaching your goal(s)? Is your goal truly meaningful to you?
- What are the tasks involved in reaching your benchmarks? How will you move from one task to the next?
- How will you know you’re making progress?
- How will you plan for slip ups (and they will happen)? Remember, on occasion it’s necessary to take a step backward in order to make a greater leap forward.
- How will you be fair and kind with your soul throughout the process? Dump the shame and guilt. You work hard, you are a good person, you deserve good health in all it’s facets.
- Who will be your support? Everyone needs a shoulder.
Let us know how health expectations have affected you, for better or for worse.
I EXPECT to see you on the PATH Ahead!
