“Smile though your heart is aching…” Or scared, or over-worked, or worried, or angry, or…
Sitting down to dinner as the “season premier” of Dancing with the Stars came on, I was feeling sorry for myself about my current load of stresses.
Soft-rock crooner Michael Bolton was getting his critique from the judges when Carrie Ann Inaba told him he was concentrating so hard that he was stuck in a frown and a slouch. “Ooo, me too” I chuckled. The solution she offered? “Smile. When you smile your breath changes and your whole posture opens up.”
That’s nice, I thought.
Wait, rewind. That’s more than nice, that’s positively unassailable. That’s one degree of change that could ripple through a person’s entire system with a huge payoff. A smile causes airways to open, which causes a deeper breath, which sets off a yearn to stand up straighter for even more air, which brings more oxygen to the brain, which begets fluid concentration, which leads to relaxed composure, which ends in successful execution, which creates a bigger smile… and boo-ya, the crooner wins.
I’ll be the first on the block to want to take out the overly cheery stranger who judges my expression as sad and then demands in a sugary pitch, “smile, it isn’t all bad.” Why this pushes my buttons I can’t precisely pinpoint, except to guess that the act has to be worth the payoff. I really want to smile for the helpful progression Inaba’s judging evoked, offering me a world of possibility. I don’t want to smile for the stranger who is judging what they know not of and leaves me with regret or guilt over my presumed lack of appreciation.
Reams of research proves that working your smile muscles, whether fake or genuine, makes a positive difference in your whole body. In an effort to be less judgy, I’ll admit the stranger is right to a degree. Having the control to direct the smile toward your goals and your focus (and away from the obscure though well intentioned syrupy cringe), however, goes one step further in terms of meaning and staying power. By the way, a genuine, involuntary smile (the most healing of all) is almost always preceded by a planned or voluntary smile. So it’s also true that we often “fake it to make it.” Do so with focus, focus on even the smallest step toward that which will make you happiest of all, and you may just feel a change that could stick.
“You’ll find that life is worthwhile if you smile.”
(“Smile” song lyric by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons, music by Charlie Chaplin, performed most notably by Nat King Cole.)